On December 21st 2012, millions of people, under the spell of a great delirium or mass psychosis of sorts, raced around in a daze of panic and fear until the stroke of midnight. People hoarded food, huddled with friends, text and messaged each other their last thoughts and their theories on what was to them, possibly the last night on earth.

Many, many people did not do this, In fact most did not. Much like in 1999 before that on the eve of Y2K. And much like the hysterias of today. Most just want to live their life.

But what was happening in 2012? : Some people, for a variety of reasons thought that on or around December 21, 2012, the world, in a variety of different ways, was about to cease. They believed, in the haze of fear cast upon them by media, by facebook memes and word of mouth that there was a chance everything was about go bang. People thought that the Mayan calendar might have predicted a Hollywood-esque apocalypse, and that we of all generations would see the clock tick over. Maybe even Jesus himself may come and finally sweep us all up.

Hollywoods James Franco and Seth Rogen even made a movie about the apocalyptic event as if it really occurred entitled “This is the End” and good for them, it was about as ridiculous in that film as it is looking back on it now.

You may find it hard to believe, or even remember if you were there, but the world was primed for this kind of shit already in 2012, we just got off the bandwagon of “KONY 2012”. A social media enigma comprised of predominantly white folk, who corralled together and had a bout of global saviourism induced by a viral YouTube video. (18 year old me was not immune).

Somehow, everybody who didn’t previously give a shit about “Africa” suddenly cared about defeating an obscure, but powerful warlord who was stealing kids for his own cause. And the world mobilised together to defeat this obscene evil, for a few months anyway…then the campaign derailed when the founder was found being sexually obscene. And the western world was once again too busy ‘ending’ to care what became of KONY and all the stolen children. It’s a shame, truly, that we are so prone to such disingenuous bouts of collective ‘care’ and… that “Africa” is still lumped together in conversation as some singular national entity?!

But why am I taking you on a trip back to exactly ten years ago, you might ask? Well, that’s because in the West, despite the fact that we have it really, really fucking good and there is an air of safety that only the most privileged in this world enjoy. The western world is ALWAYS ending. There is always some cataclysm, be it political, social, online, offline, economic, societal, right wing or left wing, climate or technological. The world in all its ceaseless, endless, online-scrolling glory has got a glistening injection of dopamine and serotonin-fuelling fear to probe right into your cerebellum.

And, to be fair we are told it’s ending daily. It’s the kind of thing that propels children into becoming activists before they’ve even grown up and others into decimating their classmates with weapons.

The western world is high, completely addicted and so in need of a 12 step program, but they’ve outsourced their higher power to the Demi-gods of social media and the politicians of corporate greed.

Another thing that happened in 2012 for a lot of people is they had their first encounter with “The New Age Movement.” Spurned on by their search for meaning in a time of vague uncertainties. This movement in 2012 was a mere shadow of the former and far more glorious: “Age of Aquarius” of the 1960’s and 70’s, which was born out of the opposition to the Vietnam War and founded in astrological predictions of great societal change.

Devoid of the dogma and politics and social media bullshit, the New Age movement mostly functions as a new form of Western Spiritualism with a bit of colonised spice and a little help from the occult (insert: ancient, pagan and/or indigenous spirituality) and no small amount of cultural appropriation, (something that if we are really honest, humans have done expertly forever.) The New Age movement remains in my opinion, relatively harmless compared to the age old Abrahamic religions, notably Christianity that still permeate and influence all of western society and culture today.

The New Age movement when represented at its best has been comprised of many high functioning individuals finding their autonomy and their spirituality, reconnecting with nature. Questioning long held dogmatic belief systems and finding inner peace. People communing with their bodies. Communities and individuals seeking liberation, creativity and alternatives to the current socio-economic and political structures. It invokes moderate feminism ideals, the balancing of masculine and feminine, both in an energetic sense and as a psychological and relational tool. It encourages men to become whole emotionally, healing from their wounds and re-assess their place in the world, softening masculinity and teaching responsibility and discouraging complacency. In women its inspired connection with community, natural birthing and return to the innate feminine cycles, with gatherings and women’s health and psychology. All aided by a sense of worldly ‘wokeness’ that accommodates a new era for humanity.

At its very best, it’s about preparing ourselves and elevating ourselves into a higher state of being. Deliberately facing and acknowledging that we as humans have a responsibility as beings of a higher order of thinking and complex consciousness to do and be better than we currently are. Both as individuals and as a collective. As custodians of the land and those responsible for ensuring that future generations thrive too.

The thing about “The New Age” is it’s not an organised religion, though it has a cult-like following and theology to boot, none of which is universal or agreed upon. In 2022, there are key figureheads who you may recognise on your endless scroll through TikTok and Instagram reels who are represented under its shiny hashtags. Many Yogis, gurus, self declared shamans, healers and teachers all come to mind.

In 2022, the New Age. Much like every other thing in the West has become yet another product that a bleached, insecure, capitalist can put on the resume or bio and sell you as a product. With zero accountability and maximum profit.

It is a product that, with very little effort, can sweep up innumerable vulnerable people seeking validation, attention and inspiration from online influencers. Women wanting to “empower’ themselves watch filter-glazed faces through their iPhone screens and believe these people have something “ethereal” about them that they too need to emulate.  

People come to believe that to be spiritual, enlightened and intuitive is synonymous with “rich”, “gorgeous” and “without shadow”. That our humanness must be erased so that we can ascend as gods.

This ladies and gentlemen of the internet is a god damned lie. The lie of lies. It is the toxic, sun-tanned, californicated spirituality of a western apocalypse. Apocalypse meaning, literally “unveiling”. A revelation of truth to all.

Right when the world seemed to fall apart in 2020, primed with fear and loathing of the current state of affairs. A Pandemic that was just plain fucking strange. An American election that also doubled as a lobotomy and three years of isolation, lockdowns and literal day in and day out non-sense had even the most hardened human looking for new meaning in their life. If they hadn’t already disappeared to a cave in the mountains.

Unfortunately all that many people had through the carnival of the last three years was their shiny obsidian mirrors that serve up their social media delights. Ironically, with the void of hope came a vacuum. Many of the once sparkling New Age influencers were also locked in their homes, depressed as anyone else. The ones who kept it together may of logged off, deleted their accounts, started families or found something else to do with their lives. Others flatlined, went insane, or better, found QAnon and convinced themselves that the New Age was just over the horizon, brought to you by none other than arch capitalist Donald Trump. Or, that he was somehow Jesus Christ. Somewhere in the thick of the madness, we lost notable monarchs, world war three began to brew, Kanye West wouldnt drop his new album and then did. And millions of people all around the world began to revolt against their governments for varying reasons. And it played out like that, one insane thing piled on another.

No wonder people began to give up hope, it all seemed like too much, Joe Biden didn’t save the world, infact he barely even speaks a whole sentence without advertising his dementia. Australia almost burned down and England was losing royalty like flies, and plenty just about gave up for good. The West once again was facing certain doom. (2022 Edition)

When in this level of doubt, a portion of mankind does something really, really funny; They begin to question everything they have ever been told. They begin to look critically at the world around them, they begin to see patterns and signs. This in theory is how we’ve survived this long.

This pattern recognition is a process sped up exponentially by social media. It’s almost as if social media, harnessed by its glorious, expertly crafted algorithms is a systemic feedback loop… and all these incredible, free-thinking, inquisitive people, “freeing” themselves mentally of oppression and hierarchical madness, are actually tapped into a hive mind.

Then… suddenly… all these spiritual people were becoming Christian? Did Kanye reveal himself as the Christ? …. Well…Yes. But that wasn’t it. It was the algorithm! The A.I curated internet had birthed its new Messiah and the supposed end of the New Age and presented the fearful masses with a newly rebranded, “Jesus Christ.” A Jesus that hates the New Age.

As if the lord commanded it, hashtags turned to #newagetojesus , content went from woke, to holy. Almost nudes became almost modest. Influencers went from trying to convince the world they aren’t plagued with fear and anxiety using spiritual memes, to convincing the world they aren’t plagued with fear and anxiety by using bible quotes. People deleted their New Age friends and surrounded themselves with Christian ones. They judged their old pals and gossip with their new ones. They burned their tarot cards and their self help books and put it in their stories so people they don’t care about and have never met know that they too, are saved from the New Age. Testimonials about how lost they were and how found and free they are flooded glossy white screens of their instagrams and facebook posts.

Now that they have Jesus they need not worry, they have outsourced their fear and doubt and yet they still, ironically talk about a coming New Age…. Except Jesus will be king and circumvent all their responsibilities in this new age.

The reality is, neither of these beautiful, homogenised, neo-spiritualities holds any water or bears any semblance to their real world counterparts. At least not in their online, illusory, judgement soaked forms.

Gordy, glitz filters with faux, digital glitter, auric rainbows, puffy cosmetic filters that invoke mental illness and body dysmorphia. Digitally enhanced breasts and lips, fake muscles and beards and for some reason, digitally shaved eyebrows?? Men filming “holy thirst traps” and women curating holy homes with their confused children in their arms.

People who want, but have no connection with their god or their oneness whilst their eyes glaze over in judgement of their once, supposedly intimate relationships. The real god, the real new age of 2022 is not a glorious interconnected spirituality. It is not the timeless, ancient, westernised Christian god that is coming to save everyone from their privileged, decedent and self imposed hells. It is just the online lie that too many have been sold. It is “the feed”. It is “the followers” it is a curated and delightful state of consciousness that doubles as an internal hell… if you let it be. Filled with its demons and devoid of higher impulses. Stuck within your self deceptions and unchallenged by anything that dare tell you to look deeper. Look harder. Feel more.

The real New Age is an age of honest self reflection. It is facing your fucking shadow. It is growing up and accepting that you are your own saviour. Cry about it. No whimsical father figure in the sky is going to swoop down and save you. No creator is going to post that final spiritual detox that sends you into the next dimension. That workshop, that Church is not the answer. You are. Everything else is just there… potentiality itself waiting for you to act.

You are responsible for your life and the way in which you respond to the darkness and the beauty of this world. Spirituality and religion are not narcotics to numb you from the brokenness of the world nor are they to keep you elevated in only the good times. Astrology is not an excuse for your self deception. The Gospels are not your license to rebuke strangers for their behaviour or give you a false sense of security and entitlement, to an afterlife you know nothing about. The real New Age is healing yourself because that is your only option if you wish to change. It is realising that there are infinite modalities and that nothing is all one thing, nothing is purely evil or purely good. That tarot cards can guide you only as much as you are honest with your self. That gathering in a church makes you about as holy as you were in the car on the way there, spewing verbal diahorrea about your pastor.

The real New Age Is acknowledging what is not working, has never worked about humanity. That when we indulge in self imposed illusion, we perpetuate it, magnify it and eventually contaminate the world with it. The internet has infinite sects of humanity that are segregated in their algorithmic little bubbles, believing they have solved it all. But only together have we ever had a chance at moving forward.

If you are a person, lost in 2022, lost in any point in history for that matter. For gods sake go outside, breathe in the air. Talk to a living human being. Stop watching the news. Stop obsessing over politics and fear-porn and accept that for every modicum of power and control you think you have, life has more. Nature has more. Fear is a compulsive, evolutionary liar, it is the devil of all time. It is also an exceptional motivator, revolutionary and Promethean in its unveiling power. Allow fear, allow hope. But do not be deceived by enigmatic imitations of either of them.

Live your life in all your humanness, compost the fear into a rich, abundant soil of education, enrichment and expansion of your consciousness. Plant diverse, academic and spiritual insights in that soil and water it with your hope for a future that you would be proud to leave your children and your children’s children.

That is the real “New Age”;

It is your descendants sitting in the shade of an ancient tree, planted by you, you who could only hope it grew so tall, but would never live to see it.

We pass on what we know, so why not know better? Be better? Because thats something to live for.

Authored by Daniel Watts, 2022